My battle of the bulge has begun once again in what I hope is the final chapter of this fat ass book called my FAT GIRL LIFE!

July 27, 2006

Finally! Two pounds down!

Week: 3
Weight: 250
Weight loss to date: 10lbs

As of Monday I was officially down two pounds from the week before. It took long enough!

Technically, it was my fault. I'd had several lunch meetings and it's difficult to portion correctly and know exactly what's in your damn chicken salad! I just kept staying at 252. Finally I'm on my way to losing more weight. I'm damned determined too! My Mexican or Carribean vacation depends on me losing 50 pounds by New Years Eve! UGH!

I am pretty sure that I can do it if I'm diligent. A bitch just can't give up ya know!

The Mr. says I'm making him fat because of all the cooking I do. The problem is, he doubles and triples the portions in comparison to mine. Now who's fucking fault is that??? Hmmmmmm?

Yah, not this bitches!

I made WW mac & cheese last night and we had barbequed chicken on the grill and steamed broccoli. I made some queso blanco w/jalapenos for the Mr. to put on his broccoli. I cheated a bit and put some on mine, but I didn't eat a ton of it like he did so I didn't exceed my points yesteday. In fact, I had 5 pts left to burn that I didn't touch!

I'm feeling better about dieting now. I'm glad I can eat real food and enjoy it! That NutriSystem shit is for the fucking birds! Some of the food was good, but for the most part, I didn't really like it. Plus, I spent a lot of money on it and I had to spend extra just to supplement. I bought tons of fruits and veggies to complete the program. It ain't cheap!

Okay, I'm done. Gotta run and get ready for work. I meant to post on Monday, but I totally forgot. I could actually be down a pound or two since I last weighed. I'm only going to weigh in on Mondays so as not to worry, worry, worry about.

Later blogosphere!

July 17, 2006

Week 2 on WW: Weight 252 - STILL!

Okay, I know where I went wrong. I ate normally this weekend rather than watching my points. In fact, I was BAD. My boss took me, the mister, a co-worker and her mister, out for dinner at this fucking fantabulous Italian restaurant called Maggiano's. If you live in ATL or know about the ATL you may have heard of it. We went to the one at Perimeter, there's another one in Buckhead. Both are equally delicious.

So, I had calamari, chicken parm, egglplant parm, veal picatta (YUM!), two salads, a pasta dish and DESERT!! My two favorites, creme brulee and tiramisu.

Now, before you go thinking I ate all this food as separate entrees by myself...we had family style so I took a small portion of everything we ordered. DAYAMB! It rocked in case you couldn't tell how I felt about it.

So, that is why this bitch hasn't lost a pound in a week!! I'm shameless I guess. But, that dinner was a fluke. We don't normally eat like that. In fact, me and the mister went shopping yesterday and bought everything for WW recipes that we wanted to try this week and next. We're ready! I also brought a WW meal to work with me, but not before I sabotaged my day with Chick-fil-A! I was starvin Marvin! I had a multi-grain bagel with chicken, cheese and eggs on it. I'm guesing 12 points just for the sandwich!

So, now more than half my days points are gone with the wind from my backside. Guess I'll be doing the old salad thing for dinner. No biggee though. I'm down with roughage.

So, my blogger pals. Keep your fingers crossed for a fat bitch. I'm looking for an eliptical or treadmill within the next week or two. This bitch needs to move some fat!

Love yas!

July 11, 2006

Weight Watchers anyone?

Alright, two full days on Weight Watchers and I've lost a pound. A good start. I'm back down to 252.

I am having real salt cravings right now. The last thing I need! I don't need the water retention!! I know most women carry around an extra 5 lbs of water weight all the time. I don't know if we ever really lose that!

I've been downloading a ton of weight watchers recipes from the web. I have some killer ones. I made One Skillet Beef Stroganoff for myself and the Mr. He loved it! It was really good! I have never really been disappointed by WW recipes so I think I'll be okay. I've done well so far on portions, I just have to stay away from chips & dip! My biggest craving right now!

Now, as for exercise, what is that?? Well, the Mr. and I have been walking some, but it's very hot and muggy here in the summer time so I have been talking to him about getting an eliptical machine for our room. We have a huge bedroom with a 96" tv on the wall. I could ride that eliptical machine while watching something on TiVo. Perfect! My endocrinologist told me that I would burn 500 extra calories if I did 30 minutes of eliptical as opposed to 30 minutes of treadmill. I'm up for that! I could lose buckets of weight if I get one and get on it 5 days a week for 30 minutes. I'd rather buy one than get a membership to a gym. I hate going to a gym as an super fatty while all the skinny's around me glisten and look beautiful while they work out. Doesn't do much for my self esteem at least. So, I'm gonna start looking around for an eliptical machine.

I'll be back around on Monday of next week, unless I check my weight and I've lost more and get excited and can't contain it!

July 07, 2006

Bye Bye NutriSystem, Hello Weight Watchers

This sucks. I have to go off NutriSystem.

It is totally messing with my digestion. I have to stop it and eat normally to actually go take a dump!

I may have lost weight the first week, but the second week I was totally backed up and that NEVER happens to me. So, I ate Steak and Shake and an hour later - SHAZAM! I dropped a few pounds in a few minutes!

I know it's gross and all, but I think I need to stay away from this stuff. I cancelled my membership and I'm going to go back to Weight Watchers. I can follow that mother so well and lose 3 lbs a week if I drink my water and keep my points down.

So, switching gears here. Keep up people!


July 06, 2006

Oy Ve! The Holidays!!

Yah, life's a bitch.

The 4th of July holiday weekend was great fun, just sucky for my weight loss journey.

I gained a lb! I am now 253. We'll try again on Monday, July 10th. Wish me luck!

June 27, 2006

And So It Begins

Monday, June 19th I started NutriSystem weighing in at 260 pounds. Unbelievable! I weighed in 7 days later on June 26th at 252. I had lost 8 lbs in 1 week!! Ecstatic? OH HELL YES! I am finally seeing results, although it is just the beginning of this journey.

A little background: I used to be very "in-shape," at a very good weight of 130. I'm 5'4" tall so I'm no basketball player, but I looked very good and very toned. I worked out with weights six days a week. I wanted to be either a body builder (big mistake) or a fitness model. I was poised to do just that when I got pregnant at 19.

Yup, an accident that I don't regret because I love my son (who is 16 today!) more than my own life. But, being pregnant wreaked havoc on my poor bod. I got stretched out in the stomach and breasts and even my inner thighs. I had edema so badly that the day my 9 lb 12.5 oz son was born I lost 25 lbs. I went from the cankles to ankles over night! Whew!

That was just the beginning though. I have struggled for 16 years with my weight. I almost had it conquered in 1996 and 1997. I went on a "diet" pill and pretty much starved myself, but I managed to drop down to 140. Only 5 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight!! I was on cloud nine, though I didn't quite look the same bodywise, I was closing in on being myself again.

Then, in July of 1997 I moved to Atlanta, GA. I was very stressed over a traumatic breakup. I had quit my job and moved from my hometown in Illinois to Atlanta. I moved myself and my son in with my parents until I could get on my feet. Within a month of the move I had gained (NO LIE) 30 lbs!!! I don't know how, I don't know why, but I know it was something wrong in my body.

I struggled for a few more years and stayed around the 170 lb mark. That was tough for me. I worked a job at a desk so I wasn't getting much exercise so my ass kept getting fatter and fatter! UGH! God, I hated having a cottage cheese ass! I was holding steady at a size 12 to size 14 (depending on the size). I was still buying in the regular sizes so I didn't give it much thought beyond not liking the junk in my trunk!

Then, what seemed virtually overnight, I gained another 30 lbs. I was tipping the scales at 205. I had NEVER been over 200 lbs before! Scared me to death! I also started getting bad adult acne on my face and chest and upper back, as well my hair started thinning on top and I started getting black hair here and there on my face, like wiskers under my chin (probably 10 in all) and a couple around the sides of my mouth. That freaked me out the worst!

So I went to the gynocolgist for my annual and told her what had been happening with my body. She put me on Aldactone after checking my androgen levels which were significantly elevated.

I couldn't understand why she wasn't looking for the underlying condition as to WHY my andgrogen levels were high and what else could be caused by high levels of angrogens. So, I took my blood test results to my PCP and told her I thought I needed an endocrinologist. She agreed with me and sent me to see Endocrinologist, Dr. Shore.

Within five minutes of talking to Dr. Shore he knew what was wrong with me. I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS, also known as Leventhal-Stein Syndrome. I was producing too much male hormone, causing my hair to thin (male pattern baldness), adult acne, and my periods were not regular. Another problem with PCOS is that because testosterone levels are high they cause my insulin levels to rise. But the problem was this disease also had caused me to become insulin resistant. Which meant that the receptor sites on my cells which insulin attached to to open my cells up for glucose (energy) wouldn't work so glucose built up in my blood stream causing me to be in early stages of Type II Diabetes. My body, because it wasn't getting the glucose I was bringing in, thought it was starving, therefore it stored most of what I ate as fat.

Crazy, huh?

I thought so. He put me on glucophage (generic is metformin) and kept me on aldactone. Over the next three to four years he would repeatedly put me on Lexapro, then switch me to phentermine, back and forth, back and forth. I couldn't be on an anti-depressant AND phentermine, apparently that is very dangerous. So I ended up staying on the Lexapro. I really feel better being on it

But the weight kept creeping on. I was at 225, then 235, then 253!

My mother and I joined Weight Watchers last June of 2005. I lost 25 pounds in 3 months. I was pretty proud of myself. But then, I started having female trouble.

I started cramping like crazy. I felt like I was in labor only with no breaks between the pains. It was awful. I had surgery to see if I had endometriosis. Turns out I did have a form of it, only it was within the muscles of the walls of my uterus. Internal Endometriosis is called Adenomyosis.

At this point I'm wondering WTF!!! What the hell is going on with my freakin' body!? My gynecologist put me on Lupron Depot therapy to control the pain. It put me in temporary menopause so I wouldn't produce estrogen which kept the Adenomyosis at bay. Temporarily.

That brings me to today. I saw my gyno yesterday for the first time since my therapy ended last month. She put me on the NuvaRing in an attempt to control the pain and my periods. The pain is guaranteed to come back. The only sure cure is a hysterectomy. I'm okay with that, I'm done having kids and the Mr. is snipped. But my doctor said my insurance company would likely not pay for it since, at the moment, I'm symptom free...sort of.

So, I decided, at 260 lbs I needed to do something drastic. I have been on so many diets: diabetic diets, Weight Watchers, Adkins, phentermine pills, the list goes on and on. Now, I'm trying NutriSystem as a last ditch effort to lose this weight. With a 42 BMI and being 100+ lbs over weight I'm a prime candidate for gastric bypass surgery, but that's a route I'm just not ready to take. Not yet.

So, I hope that anyone who comes to read this blog will support me in my efforts and please share whatever has worked for you as far as weight loss goes. If you are a PCOS sufferer like me, then I'm sure you share my frustration and perhaps we can chat about our experiences as kindred spirits!

Stay with me as I make this last ditch effort to lose 130 pounds!

Wish me luck!